It's been a while since I've written and exposed myself on this damn blog, and I do have a few things to get off my chest so I guess it's time .. Well this month went by pretty quickly with all these exam preps & CPTs that teachers have been throwing at us, but it's pretty good still it means that school's ending and just the thought of it makes me want it even more. I can't wait till next year knowing that it will be my last year makes me excited! I just can't wait to graduate, leave this shithole, and finally move on with my life .. kinda hoping for a new fresh start. Well, these past couple days have been pretty stressful with school especially, and just the fact that I'm slowly realizing now what's really important to me and what I really need in life. I've begun to realize and slowly understand that not everyone can remain in your life, and sometimes the best thing to do is just let people go. It's hard, especially when you it hits you that the one you would think would always be there for you for support and be there as pretty much your bestfriend you have to just let them do their own thing. I just really hate the fact that age is a huge factor in many things, it limits you to do all the things you want to do and people look down upon you because they think that because your younger you're not smart enough to know the real world. Well fuck it, because people don't know half the shit that I've been through to know that I've been through a lot, and because of the shit I've had to go through I've learned through my own mistakes and my own experiences. I hate people who think they know me just based on what their physical impression is of me, rather to take the time and understand me. I honestly believe in the saying, "people always leave" but it's something that I have to learn to accept, and that's become a real battle for me, because I'm the type of person who wants to stick with those that have been there for me since time. It's hard because you begin to go through a spiral of events and you see that you don't have anyone there for you. No support, no one to turn to and you feel like your heart is just closing in and you feel this pain that no one can really take away from you, no matter how hard they try. Exams are this week and it's just hard having to deal with all of this knowing I need to put my focus on school at the moment, but .. I guess that's just what it is. But in the end I guess people never really knew me. They saw me for something that I wasn't, and believed what they wanted to believe of me. In the end, one person said to me, "you can be the nicest person in the world, but in the end someone may still not like you. You can't please everyone" .. I guess he was right.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - MARIA ROBINSON
